Brain and Body Break

Been working long hours to get prepared for my middle sons open house. 

Having a chronic pain autoimmune flare up. 

Taking tonight off!

See you tomorrow. 

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I Would Like To Order Advice and Wise Counsel, With A Side of Support But Hold The Judgment and Negativity Please!

I do not hide that I am a Christian. I do not hide that I am a sinner. I do not hide that I have things that I need to work on in my life. My thoughts are not always what they should be. My actions are not always what they should be. My choices are made at times in haste instead of with prayer. I am human, I have faults, I have flaws but I am saved with grace because Christ died for me. 

I have had a few conversations lately that all seem to focus on the fact that many people in my life are very judgmental and negative. Many people in my life are trying to save me from the same exact things that are going on in their life that they either have blinders for or make excuses for themselves. Many people want me to open up and I just know that what is about to come, isnt’ what I need or want to hear, so I put up my boundaries and leave it be. I also remind myself, I am already saved. 

I would like to be able to go up to someone. I would like to have a conversation with that person and ask them to listen. Sometimes I may ask for advice or wise counsel. Sometimes I just want to know that they will support me and stand with me. I don’t want to be open with someone to have them turn around and judge me, share negative thoughts and words with me or then share with others. I am an introvert by nature and when I take the time to get to know you and open up to you, I trust you. 

If you head down a negative path and become judgmental the trust starts to break down. If I come to you again and we go down the same road, sooner or later I lose the trust and faith that you support me. That you are here for me. That you are the person I should be going to for wise counsel.

Listen to advice and accept what you are taught.                                 In the end you will be wise.
Proverbs 19:20

I admit there are times I really need to work on this myself. I get into a situation and I become negative. I can’t wait for it to be done and over. I can’t help but judge the other person and their actions. I allow other situations and the past to influence current circumstances at times. If I have a first time situation with a person, I can let the past change my view on it. So I have to work exceptionally hard to toss the judgment and negativity. I have to take a step back and reevaluate what is actually going on with the current situation. If this has happened with the person before, I have to make decisions about trust (but that is a whole other story there). 

When I come to a person it isn’t for them to live my life for me. It isn’t for them to be upset with the way I am living my life. This is my life. This isn’t their life. My path is not your path. We may have similar paths, but we are each given our own path by God. When we have a relationship with Him, we know where we should go and what we should do. Even when we make a wrong turn in our life, He is able to work it out for good. It can be a lesson, it can be a trial, it can be patience, it is used and worked out for good; if we let Him. 

For I am the Lord your God who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do Not Fear; I will help you!
Isaiah 41:13

I do understand why we get upset when someone doesn’t listen to the advice we give them. Most of the time we have lived through what they are going through. We do not like seeing friends and family making similar mistakes we have made. We want to stop them so that they do not have to suffer. But again, this is their path and their path is not my path. God can and does use any situation we have placed ourselves in. He can and does use any situation that others have placed us in. Nothing is beyond God’s ability. 

If this was a perfect world there would have been zero need for God to send His son to save our miserable, sinning, selfish souls. Yet we all have that part of us that needs Him. We may not know it, we may not admit it and we may not act like it. Still, He has always been there.  Even when we ignore him, but that is even more of a reason why He needed to send Jesus to save us and give us grace.

Change can and does happen in life. In order for change to happen in life you need support and love and understanding. You do not need judgment and negativity and being reminded of who you were. 

Character is who you are and what you do when no one is looking. 

There have been two national stories on the news about inmates. One of those stories was about two inmates who (I believe) were on their way to a work detail, ended up overpowering guards, taking their lives and going on the run. We don’t need to highlight those two. If you were not aware of this story they did end up giving up after being on the run. 

The next story that has been out there about inmates tells me so much. In Polk County, Georgia there were six inmates who were on a work detail in a cemetery. The sheriff who was with them, was their normal work detail officer and he passed out. Instead of these men running away since their supervisor was down and unconscious, they rushed to his side. They opened his shirt, removed his bulletproof vest and started CPR. At the same time another one of the men took his phone and called 911 to save his life. To read their story you can go here.

This just reminds me that we are all fallen people who make bad choices. Some of those choices result in prison unfortunately, but treating these inmates as humans and having compassion for them, they saved an officers life instead of running away and letting him die. Character is who you are when no one is looking and they proved who they have become, not who they were. Those men had no idea they would be an example for the world with their actions and yet, here they are.

Support, love, comfort, listening, compassion, advice, wise counsel and treating people humans who make mistakes is what everyone needs. Being negative and judgmental and angry and cruel doesn’t get anyone anywhere. 

What do you do in your life? Do you fall on to the negative train? Do you take the path of support and love? 

Why Is Network Marketing Looked Down Upon?

I have been thinking lately about how many people hear networking marketing, MLM and think “Pyramid Scheme”. It is heartbreaking to me because it is a way for mom’s and dad’s to be able to supplement income to allow one parent to stay at home. Not only can it be a way for a parent to stay at home, it can become a career and a way for the whole family to be at home.

Another thing I have heard is, “Oh it is one of those things you have to buy from a rep and you can’t get at a store.” This one, in this day and age just stumps me. How often do you find yourself not having the time to actually shop for something so you jump online to amazon, eBay, or even a local store (our large local grocery store actually allows us to place an order online and someone shops for you and then delivers it to your home). 

Can you tell me why most people are against supporting other people? You walk into a brick and mortar, big box store (and I am not against big boxed stores) and support those who choose to work, those who need to work, and those who are not even in the stores but in cooperate offices. 

You want a new cell phone. You get online, you look through the selection, and you make your choice. You can either then order online and have it shipped to you, order online and ship it to a local store or even go into a local store and buy it. However you may not get the same great deal that you saw online. Then you pay outrageous fees to a company that provides you with service that is so overpriced that each quarter the corporate higher ups get bonuses. 

And you look at a network marketing company, you turn your nose up and want nothing to do with it because it just screws people and it is a pyramid scheme. What is wrong with our thinking these days? That we would rather put bonuses in the pockets of executives than in the hands of our neighbors, friends, family and maybe even someone you don’t know but who is trying to make their life better. Why are we so opposed to helping out the real people in this world who are struggling and who are willing to work and provide for their family? 

It has really been making me upset and angry the more I think about it! We want change in our country. We want things to get better and be better for people. We want people who are willing to work hard, provide for their family, and better their lives. Yet we are not willing to help them with what they choose, if it is an at home company. How can we ask so much, expect so much and then shove them down when they choose to better themselves and their family? 

We have to change our thinking. We have to stop believing that people who choose to work at home don’t know what they are doing. We have to stop believing they are going to screw you over and rip you off. Most of use who choose this for our family have done research and are not just jumping into whatever falls in front of them. 

We are choosing something we are passionate about. We are choosing something that can and does change lives. We are working not only an at home job, we are raising children, being wives or husbands, taking care of our homes and building relationships with others. Making the choice to work from home is a difficult and hard one. You have to be willing to actually work, make a schedule, prioritize, and at times even make sacrifices. 

When you choose to work at home it is something that you put a lot into in the beginning and as time goes on it becomes less. You don’t ever stop working your business but you don’t have to work as much anymore. You can make easier hours, take longer vacations and you can enjoy what you have built. It is hard, it takes dedication and it takes guts to build relationships that go alone with network marketing! 

We need to change the way we think about people who work at home. We need to stop putting them down. These are people who want to make a difference in many ways in their family and in the world. We need to be lifting them up and praising what they are doing. We need to be supporting their efforts and the energy, time and dedication they put into it. 

It is a passion. If you do not love what you do, it becomes a job. It won’t last if you are doing it at home, if there isn’t a passion. When you work at home, you are making a career out of it because it is what you love! That is what we need to make a change in this country, we need people who are passionate about what they love. 

How do you feel about work at home people? Do you support them when you can or do you put them down and shove them off?

Nutrition Is So Important And We Don’t Get What We Need

I have really been thinking about how far I have come in the last year. In March of 2016 I was ready to break. I was miserable, in pain all of the time, and I was not a happy person. When you live with chronic pain, autoimmune issues, mental health issues and attempting to keep it all together it is hard to look at a glass that is partially filled and see it as half full. 

I wanted to be happy. I wanted to be healthy. I wanted to be positive. I wanted to look at that glass and see it as half full. I wanted to laugh. I wanted to play with my children. I wanted to stop crying. I wanted to be able to stop feeling like a failure to others. 

A friend posted on Facebook about her son’s journey since starting the daily dosing of fruits and veggies to boost his immune system. This is what she wrote: 

I live in a constant state of gratitude ๐Ÿ’•because of how the portrait of my family’s health keeps improving but there are some things that make my jaw drop and I just have to share. ๐Ÿ’ฅ
Buckle up. ๐Ÿš— This is going to be a long and vulnerable post but it’s too significant to put into just a few words. So read on if you feel so inclined. โ˜บ๏ธ
Our first born child has had it pretty rough. From experiencing painful silent reflux from birth that took us 5.5 months to get under control, undergoing a lip and tongue tie frenectomy at 3 days old, suffering from MSPI (Milk Soy Protein Intolerance), and a diagnosis of Sensory Processing Disorder at 18 months old. His infancy was miserable and his toddlerhood was isolating and worrisome. I’ve always kept proper perspective that in the grand scheme of things he is otherwise healthy, it’s just that a lot of the time it’s seemed like life just keeps “kicking him when he’s down”. Another kick to the shins came around 9 months when he contracted his first cold sore. Not a big deal you would think, but we knew these run in the family and now that he had one it meant this virus was in his body forever. 
For those who don’t know, a cold sore “fever blister” is classified as HSV-1 (Herpes Simplex Type 1). It is a virus that travels to a single nerve and lays dormant until something awakens it. Most commonly, stress, fever, illness, excessive sunlight, or poor diet. A weakened immune system is the perfect environment for this virus to spring to life a few times a year however around 10% of people who HSV-1 have 6+ outbreaks a year. ๐Ÿ”ถG* had 8 or 9 last year alone๐Ÿ”ถ
His pediatrician began to express concern by the age of 2 and we had blood drawn to discuss the likelihood of him needing to undergo suppressive therapy for how aggressive his case was. He has contracted several unidentifiable bacterial infections that have placed him in the hospital over the past 2 years. It became so commonplace that if we went anywhere with a high concentration of germs such a kids play area or the grocery store he would wake up with a cold sore in about 4 days. No matter how diligent I was with making sure he didn’t put his hands in his mouth or disinfecting his pacifiers, etc. I couldn’t prevent them…only treat them over a slow process of applying powerful amounts of essential oils which DID speed up the healing time but couldn’t prevent them because what made him so susceptible was his poor diet and weakened immune system. And these were the case because of his severe food aversions that made improving his diet and immune system by extension, impossible. Rock.๐Ÿ—ปHard place.
โœจโœจEnter fruits, veggies and berries. โœจโœจYep, here I go. ๐Ÿ˜† We started G* on the soft chewables in the beginning of March. Ever since then his body has been flooded with a WIDE range and HIGH number of fruits and vegetables (that he would never touch in a million years) on a DAILY basis. The nutrients that he’s been getting have been doing a hard reset on his immune system and the changes that we’ve seen cannot be explained any other way. 
Now remember earlier when I told you how frequent his outbreaks were..I would average it at every 5-6 weeks he would wake up with that tell tale blister and lingering fever. Keep in the mind that the typical healing time for a cold sore is 2-3 weeks so do the math..his outbreaks were cyclical. Since adding gummies into his diet, G* has had ZERO outbreaks in 4 MONTHS.๐Ÿ™Œ๐Ÿ˜„๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ•บ๐ŸŽ‰ That’s the longest period of time he hasn’t had one since before he contracted the virus to begin with. 
So what happened? WHOLE. FOODS. 
๐ŸŽ๐Ÿ‡๐ŸŠ๐Ÿฅ’๐ŸŒถ๐Ÿ“๐Ÿ๐Ÿฅ•๐Ÿ†๐Ÿ’๐Ÿ๐Ÿ

Foods that are high in vitamins, lysine, and arginine. Foods like apples, oranges, beets, broccoli, parsley, spinach, cabbage, kale, garlic, and whole grains. ALL of which and MORE are found in his simple little gummies. 

The University of Maryland Medical Center said, “Vitamin C assists in skin and wound healing, which can decrease the healing time needed to remove any trace of a cold sore.” (Source linked in comments)
Vitamin C is a POWERFUL antioxidant that BOOSTS immunity and is an antiviral. Through it the the body is cleansed of toxins so that the immune system is able to function at its best. ๐Ÿ’ช
It’s probably clear now why I attached these pictures of G*. In each one you can see a blister or the shadow of one on his face in the same spots. That’s because the virus stays on that nerve and doesn’t travel. It may seem superficial but I usually airbrush them out before posting pictures of him because I don’t want him to grow up and see those blisters on every single picture of him as a young child. I haven’t ever wanted it to be a source of insecurity for him so in a sense I’ve tried to “erase” it for him. Of course we’ve also had to keep him from affecting other children, which I imagine makes him feel like a leper and has hurt my momma heart so much. ๐Ÿ’” He does have seemingly permanent marks where the outbreaks occur and I’m working on getting those to fade since now he hasn’t had one in so long and I don’t expect him to ever again. ๐Ÿ˜
To some of you reading this it might not have impressed you. That’s ok. That’s not why I wrote it. I wrote it to share a piece of our journey. A piece of our life, because truly G* having this has been a norm that we didn’t have hopes of it ever changing. It’s known as an incurable virus. No matter how “minor” a virus may be it doesn’t make it minor for the person dealing with it. So that’s why it brings me unbelievable joy that we’ve actually been able to DO something to help our child not to have this be a constant burden in his life. We have found something that keeps that incurable virus at bay and to me that is a victory that we helped win for our son. ๐Ÿ†
What greater feeling is there than to win a battle in your child’s health? I’m passionate about this…and I’m passionate about helping you win battles in your child’s health too. Will you let me go to war with you? I’ve got some serious ammunition. โค
So if you read to this point, thank you. It’s sometimes hard to be so open about the struggles that we face but in doing so we find boldness in ourselves and community with those who link arms with us and we all walk forward together. It is my hope that in sharing this you find the courage to not be ok with the “norms” of your health and you make a move to change your sick story into a health story. โค
#missiondrivenmomma #thepowerofproduce

Now here is the amazing thing. After reading her post and thinking about it, it started to sink in, I have been outbreak free from a cold sore since July 2016. My last cold sore was at the end of June last year! I am coming up on a whole year of no cold sores! The silly thing is, while they are annoying, painful, slow to heal (until I learned a few tricks about 3 years ago), and always reoccurring they were the least of my problems! 

Yes they bothered me and I hated going out in public with them. Which of course caused more stress, more flare, and I could be finishing one when another one would start up. Still with all of my health issue and concerns, it wasn’t at the top of my list to try and make better or less reoccurring! 

So here I am and it has almost been a year since my last outbreak. I never knew it was possible to live so free of them! It has almost been a year since my last cold sore! A year is unheard of when you have them. I used everything from prevention to abreva to essential oils. They would heal faster but I always had them! I am truly in awe of the power of whole food based nutrition!

I do not know your story but I would love to help! I hear so often how healthy the diet is or how they already eat healthy and guess what? So did I. Yes I had my down times but I have always love fruits and veggies and berries! We are lacking the nutrition in our food though for so many reasons. I responded so well because of the fact that they are harvested when they are perfectly ripe and full of nutrition and vitamins. The foods they use in these capsules are not like going to the store and getting a salad because that lettuce was picked 3 or more weeks ahead of time to it being perfect. They can’t pick our food when it is ripe because by the time it gets packaged and shipped and on the shelves it would be bad. 

Foods get the majority of their nutrition in the last few days of it turning ripe. Yes, I was eating healthy but yes, my body was still missing a lot of nutrition I needed. I have done vitamins and supplements. I urinated most of it out and it didn’t change a thing.

And here I am now doing so much better because my body is using the nutrition it is getting, that it was lacking, that it needed from actual whole food based nutrition! 

How can I give you hope?

June 16th RickerStrong Update

This family needs donations and support (share their story) and love and prayers.

Here is the latest update from Kim:

Update 6/16/2017 on Brison. It has been a very emotional and stressful week. Brison was denied for treatment in Mexico, they said their treatment would not help him since he has leptomeningeal disease. For those of you who do not what this is, it occurs in only 3-5% of ALL cancer patients. There is cancer peppered in the lining of his brain and spine now. His DIPG is in remission and only scar tissue, however this is just as bad if not worse than having DIPG itself. There is no cure, life expectancy once diagnosed is measured in weeks to months & there are only a couple hospitals in the US treating this which can slow it down but will not take it away. We sent records and MRI scans to those two hospitals a month ago now and have been waiting. Today I found out Sloan Kettering has not even reviewed them because they are waiting on insurance approval. MD Anderson is still waiting on approval as well, but they have accepted him. I called the insurance and was informed they will not allow us to have consults with both places, we have to choose. Well that is not easy, how do we know when we have no idea what treatment option either of them have! However our pastor was here praying with Brison……

Please go and read the rest of the update on their gofundme site

After you read their update, after you have prayed for them if you feel lead, I am asking that you take a moment and share their story. Share on your facebook, share on your blog, share on twitter, share however you can! 

You can also go to their paypal account and make a donation directly to them so that there are not service fees taken out. 

This family has been supported by this community for 17 months now. In those 17 months they have done everything possible for not one child diagnosed with cancer but two (their only two) children diagnosed with cancer. There is power in prayer and for me, the past 17 months have been proof that if you have faith the size of a mustard seed, you can, with God move mountains! 

Not only has this family had faith that prayer works, they have had a whole community supporting them in prayer. 

If you have the financial resources to help them, please do. If you know how to work a computer and can pass their story on to as many places as possible, please do. If you are a prayer warrior or a quick lift up their family person, please do.

Thank you for anything and all you do to help this family! You are supporting an amazing family and that means a lot to me.

Are You Someone Who Will Fight or Someone Who Will Give Up?

In our home we are coming into a scary season. Even with all of our hard work and dedication to get things just so, we are not where we need to be. I wish I could control everything in my life but I know that instead I should be walking hand in hand with Christ. 

We have been preparing for this time in our lives for almost 6 years now. Each time we get things under control and on the upward swing, everything typically goes to pot. Prior to the past sixteen months, when things would go to pot, I would have a complete breakdown. I would lose my mind, fall deeper into depression, my body would fight against itself more and my pain levels would shoot upward and I would shut down. 

I was someone who was giving up. I saw no hope. I saw no solution. I could always find an excuse for why something would not work. I was literally giving up before I even tried. I was someone I didn’t even want to be around myself. When you don’t want to be around yourself and you can’t get away from yourself your only logical option is to sleep and withdrawal.

Here we are, not where we need to be but I am not giving up. We don’t have the time we had a year ago but we still need to somehow figure out how to make it work. I finally feel like I am a person who is going to fight for what we need. I am going to keep moving forward. I am going to keep on doing what we need to do. I am going to accomplish things for me and for my family. 

This isn’t about proving anything to anyone. This is about knowing that we are going in the correct direction and we are to going to give up. This is about knowing that we are responsible for working with Christ to make His Will for us a reality. It is the gut feeling that we are doing the right things but we need to help fight for us just a little more.

Sometimes you need to just have a good ol’ complaint session with a friend or two. You need to let it all out. You need to be able to stop holding it together for everyone and you need to stop wearing your mask. You need to tear the mask off and you need to get it out. Sometimes you need to do that so you can stop hyperfocusing on the bad things, and so you can focus on the solutions and how to move forward.  

I have really come to learn that there are different types of people. You have those who accomplish, those who talk and dream, those who complain, those who are stagnant, those who wallow, and those who suffer in silence. Do you know what all of these people have in common? No matter what where they are at they have told themselves that they, “Can Do Anything” or they, “Can Not Do Anything” and either way, they are 100% correct. 

Your mind is a very powerful tool. I know everyone had heard it before and I have heard and probably given all the excuses as to why that is a crock of poo. But it is the truth. If you really want something, there are ways to get there. It doesn’t mean it will be easy, it doesn’t mean it will be quick, it doesn’t mean that it is going to be handed to you on a silver plater but there is a way. 

We do not want to be where we are going into this season of life. We have been working towards solutions (yes we are doing many things to prevent it). I do not have complete control of the others who have added to our situation not being where it should be but I am not allowing that to stop me from going forward. 

I could complain all the time. I could allow myself to be miserable. I could make excuses. I could convince myself what is the point in trying. I could convince myself I am not able or capable. I could convince others I am not able or capable. I could let others wonder why I continue down the path of craziness. Or……

I could pick my head up and just do it. I could find a way to fight and make our life different, better, easier, and even more enjoyable. My happiness is not about what I have or where I vacation or what I don’t have or even what others have. My happiness comes from knowing I am fighting, I am doing what I am supposed to do, I am moving forward and I am able to give to others.

This season we are coming into is scary but I am not scared the way I used to be. Yes I still have down days, but I vent to those who love me and understand where I am coming from. Then I get up, put my big girl panties on and go kick bum. Each day isn’t always fun because sometimes it requires losing some sleep or not spending as much time with my kiddos as I would like to but in the end it is so I don’t have to do all of that for the rest of my life! 

So where are you at in your life? Are you someone who would fight for what they need to get done so things don’t stay the same? Or are you someone who is going to sit back and just complain and let opportunity pass you by while you give up? 

No situation is permanent unless you have told yourself it is. There is nothing in your life that can’t be changed unless that is what you have told yourself. You have the power of your life. Yes there will be situations brought on by others that you can not control but you have control over how you deal with it and what you do to change it. 

Do not be someone who shuts down and gives up hope. Once you lose hope, all your other happiness and joys are not far behind for leaving. Be a fighter. Stand up for yourself and change your situations if you are not happy with them. Drop the excuses and find a way to make whatever it is work. 

You are capable. You are able. You will do whatever you have told yourself you can or can’t do!

This Is My Prayer

I have been working on my prayer life. My Wednesday morning woman’s bible study group did the book FerVent by Priscilla Shirer this past season. It really hit home with the fact I had not been praying the way I should be. 

I do pray. My typical prayer was pretty basic and it was usually when I needed something. Many times in the course of my life, God has brought about prayer to me. My usual response is go and buy books about praying for that particular point in my life, read some of it, pray some of it and then once again fall away. 

Some of the messages though stayed with me and I still use them. One of my favorite prayers came from The Power of A Praying Wife by Stormie OMartian and it went like this, “Lord, change ME!”. I can’t make someone change. I can pray for change but some times, instead of being frustrated, angry, unhappy, unmoving and ridiculous; I pray for the Lord to change me during the process. I ask that He allows me to see whoever it is through His eyes. If I am looking at them and seeing them through His eyes maybe instead of wanting to lash out irrationally, I will see them with love and acceptance. 

Change is hard, change takes time and change has to be wanted by the person themselves. I can pray for them. God can nudge them. The Holy Spirit can work in them. Still the only One who knows the exact moment it will happen, isn’t me. So I have to have faith and trust and ask for Him to also work in me at the same time He is working in the other person. 

I am still not great at prayer. The biggest thing I believe though is truly to pray. Spend time with Jesus. Build up a relationship. You may not do it perfectly. You may not do it all the time in the beginning. You may feel like you are a big mess and that you are fumbling around. Those are all okay feelings and things to do.

There are some guidelines out there for how to pray. Most of them have the same basic things: Thank Him, Repent of Sins, Ask for Whatever So That (you can bring honor to Him in some way, and Claim His Word. That is right, you actually pray the Scriptures! 

This was a completely new concept for me. I knew you should read your Bible but to use it for prayer, it took me a bit to wrap my head around it. It has been interesting for me to incorporate The Word into my words and prayers. I am still learning and weaving it in. I do not believe there is a correct way to do it, He just wants us to use Him, all of Him!

Build a relationship with Christ so you can come to know God who allows you be touched and moved by the Holy Spirit all the while soaking in His Word and growing closer to all of Him. 

This is my prayer: I pray that I build my relationship so that others see Love and Peace and Hope and Light from me with the interactions we have together. 

That is my prayer. 

What is your prayer life like? Do you want change or are you happy with it?

How Much Does Your Health Matter To You?

I have been using the whole food based nutrition capsules for over a year now. I have talked about them before and how thankful I am for them. Life has changed, for the better. I still have bad days, we all do. However I am totally blessed to be about to move on with life, move forward with life and not stay huddled up in bed (although the last two days I have wanted to because the minute I step out of my room, I am dripping with sweat. We don’t have central air and only have a window unit in our room).

I used to avoid people. I used to avoid so much. I didn’t realize how much I was missing. I didn’t realize how much life was passing me by. Even though I have felt a nudge for a while about youth, I have pushed it down and pushed it aside. I was so embarrassed by my looks that there was no way I was volunteering to be with teens. I would look at myself and wonder how they would see or hear anything other than my face that was so full of pustules, redness and pain. I couldn’t see anything past my face, how could anyone else!

Today I was talked to a couple different people. It is so hard for some to understand these are not supplements. I so often hear please tell me the DRA (daily recommended allowance) or how is this any different than me going to the store and buying fruits and veggies. I eat healthy and I take vitamins. I wish I had a magic wand to help someone’s eyes be opened to see the difference. 

These are dehydrated, crushed up, put into a capsule (or chew) fruits, veggies and berries. This isn’t broken into a million pieces, and put it back together in a different form using chemicals and who know what other products to make it a supplement for what you don’t get from the real thing. Even when you eat healthy, you are still not getting what you need. There are a lot of reasons for it but some of the basic ones are

  • In order to get fruits, veggies and berries to the stores on time, they are picked very early. This way they are able to be packaged up, packed up, shipped and to the store about the time they are ripe. 
  • Fruits, veggies and berries get 90% of their nutrition in the last week to few days prior to the food being ripe. So if they have already been picked, weeks (and sometimes months) before they are rippened, they are no longer getting nutrients from the sun or the soil. 
  • Soils are depleated of nutrients from farmers not rotating the way they should and using harmful chemicals on the foods to keep pests away.
  • A lot of our foods come from genetically modified organisms (GMO) and that includes our seeds.

Often photos say way more than words ever can. I was scrolling though Facebook and saw this.

“A friend shared this and it was too good not to pass along. 

โ€ขVitamins Vs. Wholefoodโ€ข

“So I decided to share with my friends how vitamins are “dead” with no living enzymes…I used a powerful visual and took 3 separate bowls of creamy cooked quaker oats and in one I crushed up a Centrum vitamin ..in the 2nd bowl I crushed an Alive vitamin (which you can see should be called (Dead) and in the 3rd bowl I opened one Garden Juice Plus capsule and one Orchard Juice Plus capsule. The Centrum and Alive crushed tablets that were stirred in the bowls and left for over two hours looked like hard putty and could easily be held upside down and stuck to the bowl. The bowl with the Juice Plus turned the oats to liquid ….why?????? Because it IS ALIVE!!

Juice Plus has living enzymes and is real produce that gets into the cell …it’s food….not a hard synthetic fragmented man made vitamin tablet. Sometimes a picture really is worth a thousand words.
Save yourself the unnecessary expenses of MultiVitamins and just get what’s truly affordable & your body will recognize:) Whole Food Nutrition in a capsule!
EAT REAL FOOD…TAKE JUICE PLUS. :)” 

watch this๐Ÿ™Œ๐Ÿผ

#wholefoodnutrition #healyourtummy #letsbreakitdownfolks #thinkonechange #justletitsinkin”

Are you spending money on supplements? Do you know that your body only utilizes about 25% of them? Let’s just look at what that really means. If you purchase a bottle of multivitamins and you spend $20.00 on it (I have no idea how much a bottle is but I do know I used to personally look for the cheapest bottle I could find because what did it matter, they were vitamins!). If your body is only able to process 25% of what you take daily and that bottle lasts you a month you are wasting $15 a month. Now how many different supplements do you actually take monthly? 

When I was taking vitamins I know I had a lot of different ones: B’s, multi, D, E, and the list goes on. So it wasn’t just finding the cheapest one, it was finding the cheapest all of them and my body wasn’t using even half of what I was putting into it. That is really sad to think about. 

These capsules are whole food based nutrition which means that my body is using 100% of them. I am no longer wasting money. My body is taking it all in, breaking it down and using all of it. Plus it is something I can tell is happening! I feel it, I see it and there is no denying that it is helping me as a person. 

How much does your health mean to you? I was trying to do the right things, part of the time but I was going about it the wrong way. Truth is we were made to eat fruits and veggies and berries. Our bodies were created to use them for food, nutrition, healthy, energy, healing. I was not getting enough of anything in order to get well. I had to take lots of medications to try and fix what was wrong. The problem for me was, each new medication had its own new side effects that required another new medication. 

I felt like a walking pharmacy and at times I had to think really hard about what I was on the medications for. Was it something I had gone to the Doctor in regards to my body? Was it something that probably was for a side effect from a medication? My life was becoming a joke. Add to all of that, I had turned to emotional eating. That might not have been such a big deal if I was allowed to eat healthy foods (I love salads) but I was also on warfarin/Coumadin for a clotting disorder. So my list of what I could and could not eat was long for that. Then add in having IC, IBS, kidney stones, ulcers, rosacea and all my other diagnosis’. 

Part of the problem with being told what to eat and what not to eat is that we were not created to avoid these things. We were created to use them. I sat down with my doctor one day and we went over the list of things that were on my “no eat” lists. Do you know I had about 5 things I could eat on that list but they were all limited to small amounts once a month. So what it came down to is that I was expected to live on water! 

What does health mean to you? How much does your health mean to you? No truer words have been spoken that I have come to believe: You either pay for your health now with good choices or you will end up paying later for your bad choices. What do you want to do? I had to learn the hard way and was paying for my poor health choices at an early age. No more! What about you? 

Think One Change, this one change has changed my life in ways I never knew were possible

Go Foward, Stand Still, Go Backward

The last few days have been a bit crazy. I avoided posting a couple times last week because I tend to rant. Things have gone wonky around my life, so to allow it to stay wonky here, I stepped away.

This is a place for me to write what I would like, when I would like but when it involves others, I try to use restraint. I am not always good at it but I do try. So what do you do when you get stuck? What do you do when you have to step out of your comfort zone? What do you do when you have to address wrongs and broken trust? 

I personally have stepped away. Most of the time I avoid it all because of past issues in my life. I do not like confrontation and in the past, addressing issues, wrongs and broken trust always turned into confrontation. I have avoided confrontation for over ten years now. I have not stood up for myself for ten years now. When things take a turn, when someone does something to me, against me or when I realize the extent of what is going on I would compose a letter, and run. 

I would tell them what I knew, how I felt, what I watched, what I kept in and I would mail it so there was zero confrontation. I would do whatever it took to avoid and get away. My past did a number on me and not in a good way. I was so afraid of being honest with people for fear of what they would say, what they would try and twist and how they would try and turn it on me. 

Before I would send the letter though, I would avoid them forever. I would collect as much information to make sure I wasn’t crazy and had my facts. It had become a true avoidance masterpiece when you looked at it. I had all my ducks in a row, so that if I did have to see them after all was said and done, I had my armor all on and ready to go.

I was a pathetic, hiding, scared soul. I did this with everything in my life! Friends, ex-landlords, ex-husbands (or would be ex) and the list went on. I was always in defense mode. I was always ready to pounce and never ready to listen. I was so tired of defending what I had found (in my past) that I had lost the ability to trust myself. 

I was no longer a good person. I gave up on listening to what people were saying because I didn’t want to have to listen and change. I didn’t want to have to forgive. When it all really came to light what I was doing to myself, I had to make a huge choice. Was I got to move forward, stand still or move backwards. I had to make a choice to move forward. I still have times when I am stuck standing still or I want to revert back to the way I ran from it all. However those options do not teach my children how to deal with life.

I have had to grow a backbone. I do listen now but I am slow to respond. I will avoid communication if I ask for a break and it isn’t given. I need time to process things. Do not mistake what I am doing now as being a doormat because I am not. It may seem cruel and heartless but it isn’t. I am protecting them and I am protecting me. I am giving myself time to process. 

I do have a select few I turn to that I use as a sounding board. I am not using my own judgment anymore. I am asking for others opinions. When I have a clear vision, when I have prayed and have had an answer, I will have a conversation with the person. There is a real good possibility they won’t appreciate what I say. I do not just roll over anymore and say, “It’s okay.” I process and let them know where I stand. 

I am taught as a Christian I need to forgive. That is great but forgiving does not mean forgetting and it doesn’t mean wiping the slate clean and allowing myself to fall right back into the same situation. If I don’t trust anymore, I will tell you. If I can’t have a relationship with you anymore, I will tell you. It doesn’t mean that it can’t get back to what it was, but that takes time and because of my past, it takes a lot of time. 

I lay it out and then the rest is up to you. Are you going to accept what I have said or is it going to make you want to run and hid like I used to do? 

Life is full of choices and when you have to make changes it isn’t always easy. I fought these changes for a long time. I could not stay the same anymore though. I had to step out of my comfort zone. I had to move forward. I had to listen to what Christ’s word was saying to me and what I was being directed to. 

I have been really good at hiding from what I needed to do to change. That is over. The new me, I am not sure I really like her and I know I am not where I need to be yet. But I am so much closer to who I need to be than I was, even a year ago. I am not a doormat anymore, I am a woman who has a backbone, and I am a woman who doesn’t just pounce but weighs my options and what is laid before me. 

How you had to make some scary changes in regards to how you deal with things? How had it worked for you? Did you jump in head first or did you dip your toes and try to run from it, like me? 

Reflecting Back, My Gut Has Always Been Correct

I have talked about before how I didn’t make the wisest choices growing up. As a matter of fact, I typically went against my gut feeling and did the exact opposite of whatever I should be doing. I know that most kids at some point start making their own choices, right or wrong because you have to learn somehow.

I haven’t made the right choices about a lot of things. At times it had to do with me being defiant and just wanting to be an adult making my own choices. Other times it was because I was so desperate to be approved of by others. One of those times was when I married my ex.

You see I had always made wrong choices in my parents eyes. When I got engaged, I think they were happy. I remember talking to my sister in law after I left my ex. She said something about how they all thought he was the answer for me and then they found out different. I knew though, before we got married that we should not be getting married.

I talked to others about backing out. I talked to my ex two weeks prior. I recall laying on the couch in the living room, crying because I knew it was a bad choice. His response was something along the lines of I would have to be the one to tell everyone because he and his parents and my parents had spent so much money on this wedding, it wouldn’t be fair to those people. After speaking with others, I ended up getting married to him. My gut said no, my head said maybe, my heart said I hope it works and my drunk self said to hell with it.

Not even a year later I went to my parents house. I had gone to a woman’s domestic abuse shelter. I had filled out the form. They accepted me into the program. They gave me a business card for an attorney who worked with woman from the shelter. I went there to tell them that I wanted to leave. I was told that it had not even been a year and I really needed to give it a chance. When the call came from the shelter and the attorney, I told them both I had changed my mind. I wanted my parents to be proud of me and if I left, I wasn’t going to have that.

I really tried to make things work. I am bipolar and I own that. I have been on many medications. I have been hospitalized. I have attempted suicide. I was a self mutilator. I was an check out of town with alcohol, sex and cigarettes. I had been with the same psychiatrist since 1999. She would change meds, she worked with me, she helped me get counseling and always tried to point in me the correct direction. 

I reached out to support groups. I tried to get us both into marriage counseling, but he didn’t need help, it was me because I was mental. I started a blog writing about what was going on. It had become my only outlet. I didn’t feel as if I could be open or honest with those in my life. They didn’t think I was capable of making good choices or decisions and no matter what I did, I always felt wrong. One day a long time friend messaged me and asked me if I realized what I wrote about was abuse. Yes I did was my response. 

She kept after me in subtle ways. She would message me after I would post. She would encourage me to seek out help. She wasn’t alone though, my psychiatrist knew and she encouraged me, in different ways. She suggested I get this book called, Why Does He Do That, Inside The Minds of Angry and Controlling Men by Lundy Bancroft I did get it. I did read bits of it. It only confirmed what I knew from before we got married. It made me sad. It made me question my ability to make wise choices.

Funny to put that down. I was so certain I didn’t know how to make correct choices, I got married to make my parents and others happy and approve of me, even though I knew it was a bad choice. And here I was questioning my ability to make wise choices because I got married. I didn’t get married for me, I got married for others and I knew it was wrong. So me questioning myself, made me question if I should really even be considering leaving. 

If you go back just a ways, I had told my ex I wanted a divorce. I asked him if it was possible for me to not pay for everything he expected me to pay for so that I could save to get a place to live. A hour later, he came upstairs with all of the bills in the house split telling me I would have to pay for half of them. I had just paid all of the monthly bills, he had just given me a check to put into our joint account (we had separate accounts and all the bills were paid from my account, he would approve them for the amounts I wrote them out for, then he would give me a check to deposit into the bank and then I could mail them out. Sometimes it resulted in me having to rewrite checks because he would refuse to pay late fees and others things. Those were my responsibility) to cover those bills. He let me know he had done a stop payment on the check until he received enough money from me to cover half the monthly bills. Every bill I had mailed out bounced that month. I had so many NSF charges and I also had to pay a fee for depositing the check and then him doing a stop payment on it. 

I was mortified. I was lost. I was on disability and worked a few hours for him. I didn’t even make enough to cover half our monthly bills each month, let alone the other things he was no longer going to cover. I was responsible for the boys, their clothing, medical and the food the three of us ate. Some of that I was already responsible for, but when you don’t have a lot coming in to begin with, it can only stretch so far.

After two weeks of misery. I gave in. I begged for forgiveness. I told him I was wrong, I didn’t want a divorce, that I would do whatever it took to make it work.

Now fast forward again and here I am getting ready to leave. I had gone to the shelter and been approved because of a huge bruise on my stomach from a remote he threw. I had told two friends (they were married) and the only reason I told them was because I was using their basement to store some things for the boys when I left. I wrote letters to my parents, his parents and to my ex. It was the hardest thing I had to do, not saying anything to anyone.

However each time I had tried to talk to someone about this exact thing I was shut down. I was wrong. I was making a bad choice. I needed to try and make it work. I would be stuck with a bill that would take me over a year to recover from. I had to do this, by myself because at that point, everyone I tried to talk to, made me feel as if I didn’t know what I was doing.

My gut had been telling me for six years that I wasn’t supposed to be here. I was finally doing what I needed to do and I was leaving. I did leave and I did mail the letters out and left the one for my ex on the table in the kitchen. I didn’t know what was to come but I knew it would be its own battle. 

The YWCA no longer had attorneys who were doing pro-bono work for them. I had to find my own attorney. I had parents on both sides who didn’t understand why I didn’t go to them for help. I had a brother who would not have liked the ultimatum I gave to my ex if it was him either (mind you I had tried for years so, yes it was an ultimatum). I had two boys who had no idea what was going on and me, broken, alone, afraid, scared and knowing I was making the right choice.

Now fast forward again to current time. The divorce took almost five years to complete. By the time the divorce was final, my legal bill was, well lets just say more than I have ever made in a lifetime. He did write a lot of it off and I was very thankful. My ex was supposed to sell the house and pay me a certain amount of money. It never happened. Recently we had to make a hard choice (if you can call 2015 recent) about our financial life.

I was tired. I was worn out from tying to make things work. We had done a lot of things. We lived off credit cards and my disability when Jack was out of work. We tried doing Dave Ramsey’s way (Financial Peace University). We did debt settlement. We tried many times, many ways and when we finally felt like things were going well, lawsuits started. We had been lied to by the debt settlement company and my world crumbled again. After speaking with my attorneys, we finally decided to file for bankruptcy. 

You would think, it would have ended all the craziness, but it didn’t. We just had no idea where things were going to go because of it. My ex owed me money. My ex wasn’t paying me money. My ex’s money was considered an asset. It was one thing after another. Basically, here we are in 2017 and we still have an open bankruptcy on our report. Things we didn’t put on our bankruptcy, died and we still owed money on it. Roof leaks and even though we paid someone to repair it, he didn’t repair it and went out of business. The list goes on.

I was reflecting backwards. Had I not been so worried about other people. Had I been listening to that gut feeling. I was so focused on being loved and approved by everyone, I forgot that I was the most important one. I was so convinced by everyone’s disappointment and disapproval with what I did that I didn’t know how to make good choices. 

My gut feeling, it hasn’t been wrong. I knew when I was doing wrong. I have come to a point in my life where I know that my choices won’t make everyone around me happy. It makes me sad that they feel they know my life better than I know my life. Yet, I am at a point where I know that my gut feeling, it isn’t gas, it isn’t bad Mexican food, it isn’t IBS or monthly cramping. It is a sign, a knowing, a foretelling of what will come if I pretend it isn’t there. 

If I had not gotten married, I can’t say where my life would be at, but I can say I would not be in this exact predicament if I had listened to me and not wanted to make everyone else happy.

Do you ever have a gut feeling and dismiss it for fear of what others will think of you? I had a reality check this past week and it really opened my eyes. My gut it isn’t wrong. When it is pushing me to or from something, there is a reason! How about for you?