So I have been doing some training for our business. Really the tips have been amazing and I have been working on implementing them. However now I am on week three or four maybe and questioning where I am heading. Which is something they said would probably happen.
When you are making something and creating something, it is a work in progress. You will make changes and it will get better and better with time. Being positive and knowing these things will happen should help.
I so often strive for perfection and I know that I don’t have it. I see so many blogs that have it all together. They have their niche, they have their days planned out, they have a thing! I have my blog that is messy, mixed up and never really consistent. I know there is no point comparing because this is mine.
When I started it, it was because I felt lead to do it. I let it flop for a long while and then kicked it up. Still it has changed a lot since I started. When I started it was just pretty much essential oils and my life. Now it is my life, essential oils and health and all we are going through.
When I switched over to ThinkOneChange I really thought I would get my act together. That I would have my niche of talking about small changes, one at a time. How the family was doing it, what we were using, and focus on health and wellness and being positive. Instead I have pretty much stayed the same.
So often I know that is why I don’t have crazy numbers when it comes to readers or people who visit. Most of the time I am perfectly fine with all of that. Then times like this I get a bit frustrated with myself. I get frustrated because we had hoped this would be a source of income for us.
We have known forever that our middle son’s income would come to an end when he turned 18. We did so good about working to get rid of all our excess and getting to the point where we were living within our means. We did what we had to do to get there. That is when everything seemed to go wrong.
I am being open and honest here. It isn’t easy to admit where we are at. I try not to worry about what is to come and to know that we will be taken care of. Reality is, we might not be. We may have to give some massive things up, in addition to what we have already done.
We have had so much crumble around us. We had a car engine die. That car still had a loan on it. We had to take on a new loan and because of some things from almost two years ago, the rate is outrageous. We would have been fine. We eliminated our debt, got us in a good spot and then it all crumbled. I look at us right now and the anxiety at times, overwhelmes me.
When others hold your life in their hands, it is a hard pill to swallow. We took control of our lives, only to have someone else take over and we had zero control over it. It has left us in a horrible financial position. We are doing okay with our two businesses and I am thankful for that, however it just isn’t enough.
When do you do when you life is in others hands? How do you have trust? You see God may be in control but He doesn’t control people. He has given us freewill and so that means when others are in control, we are stuck. It worries me, it does make me panic. I want to be positive and uplifting and happy, however at times when I sit down to do the budget, I just wonder where is it all going to come from?
So we just have to work harder to figure it out. We just have to work quicker to figure it out. We have to make our choices and continue to work towards our goals.
If you pray, I am asking for prayers. If you send good vibes, I am asking for good vibes. We need to find a resolution much sooner. We thought it was just going to be extra and supplement but it no longer is that, it is a matter of survival.
Tonight, I am worn. I am not giving up. We have to keep on going if we plan on making it work. It doesn’t matter what you want, the only way to get there is to keep going.
I am going to keep going.