Struggle Is Real

I tend to share a lot of what goes on in our personal life here. I can’t help it. This is who I am. I am really starting to love the person who I was created to be. Part of that person, shares and is open and real.

In Bible study we are reading the book FerVent by Priscilla Shirer.

Hi Ladies,

Last week was strategy 2: your focus.

I just got done watching church from home. This is the fourth week I have missed church, 2nd week I have watched it. First two weeks I didn’t even think about it, my focus was distracted.

Since my surgery on the 30th and then again on the 6th I have allowed myself to get sidetracked. I have stopped being fervent in prayer. I still pray, but I haven’t been writing them down and praying The Word the way I was. Why? I can’t even tell you! I have just lost my focus, allowed life to get in the way and take over and I haven’t been doing what I had created as my habit in the mornings.

I wasn’t even making excuses for what was going on because I didn’t see what was going on. That is until this mornings sermon. I have been dealing with demonic disturbances and I have not even seen it, but I can say I have been feeling it.
Here are a few of the things that have been going on since the 6th: kicking child out of the house for stealing, finding out he stole much more than I thought and has once again put our financial life in jeopardy, the lies going on in my head that I should have known and kept things safer with him in the house (mind you our door has a lock on it, everything valuable was always locked in our room even while we were home; he would have needed to break into our room to get any of it and did – our window lock had to be replaced), one illness after another, feeling as if I am not following Gods leading for Friday nights and I am over my head and I don’t fit in and shouldn’t be there, and this is just some of it.

I have been a very easy target in the last couple of weeks. Last night at 2:55 AM I was up reading, “The Lord is my light and my salvation – whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life – of whom shall I be afraid?” Psalm 27:1. Then it really hit me ~ the devil can not hear my thoughts, reading focuses on God but doesn’t shoo the demons out of my home. So today I am speaking verses out loud and getting the devil out of my home.

My 3D glasses are on. I know who my Enemy is. I know who has been shifting my focus. I know who is going to help fill me and bring me back to The Word daily. I know I am going to be praying The Word with the Holy Spirit.

Even reading strategy 2 and knowing all of this the Enemy came in and had a stronghold over my home! Even knowing the demons shift our focus and can manipulate and blur of vision. It really makes me mad that I fell into this trap, this manipulation, this lie and I am now fighting with the Power that is within me!

Ladies, I am praying for each of you! Praying that life’s busyness, that the Enemy hasn’t weaseled the way into your life over this past week. The Enemy is always right there waiting for a way to sneak in, especially when we are pushing so hard back against him.

Get into The Word. Pray with the Power of the Holy Spirit within you! Claim it – Believe it!

We are talking about strategy 3 next week and I am ready! My Passion is back, My Focus is back and I can’t wait to get into who I AM in Him!
Amy

Today is Wednesday and today I should have been at Bible study. I was not. Yesterday was Valentines Day and Jack and I got the flu. Jack David had it over the weekend. We thought we were in the clear and we were wrong. Started for Jack early in the morning Tuesday and for me about 10 AM. It was the best Valentine’s Day ever (can you hear the sarcasm). Thankfully for me, it wasn’t the full flu. I had the aches and pains (still do) and some other problems but I didn’t throw up. 

When you have an autoimmune diagnosis, recovery from any sickness is rough. It takes longer than most other people. You are worn out longer. You just feel it and live it for about three times as long. I am starting to feel better from the flu but I am still dealing with the pain from the stints. I attribute my quick healing to our capsules! The last time I had the flu I was stuck in the bathroom and bed for over a week. Everyone said oh it is a quick one, well quick for them, not for me!

I banished the devil from my home again today. I am done with him being involved with things in my life. I am a child of God and He rules my home! No more negative. No more disappointment. No more blurry vision. I know that the Enemy wants us focused on anything other than Christ.  

You see the every day things can get in our way and that is what the Enemy wants from us. Focus on all of the things not of Christ. Focus on things you can’t control. Focus on the illness, the injury, the unexpected pregnancy, the money, the way to keep up with your neighbor, the bills, the job, the friends, the night out, any problems that keep you from focusing on the Lord.

A friend at Bible study made a point that makes so much sense. It does comes up in the Bible, especially in Philippians 4:6 “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, present your requests to God.”

Life is full of struggles. The question you have to ask yourself is are you going to worry, are you going to let the Enemy win and distract you from what you are called to do or are you going to pray, go to God and focus on Him?

Where are you at right now? I would love to hear about it!

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