Do you ever feel as if you know you are supposed to be doing something but you are just not sure what it is. I have been on brain overload lately. Lots of praying, lots of thoughts, lots of questions and lots of starring at the ceiling. I am not sure what is about to come but it feels like it is going to be good.
I do believe God gives us all gifts. The question is do you really work on one to three gifts that you know you are good at or do you spread yourself thin and try to do it all?
There are times I try to be everything to everyone. I also admit that each time I get into that mode I fail at everything, even those things I should be exceling at. Why do I fail during those times? I could understand if I was just failing at the things I am not typically good at but I fail at even the things I am good at.
Today while doing my Bible study some things came to me.
This is why I fail, because I am not God. I am not and can not be anyone’s everything. I can however focus on what gifts God gave to me (still working on totally figuring it out). God is so amazing. He knew that we are each unique. He knew that we would all have different gifts. He knew that we would need each other here on earth. He knew that most of us would not look to Him all the time, even though He is our everything. So He gave us a way to not have to be everything here on earth.
If you take time and truly look at your group of friends, what do you see? I bet you have some similarities with them but I am also going to guess that they have different gifts than you. I am realizing that if I focus on Him and who He is putting in my life, my life is a lot better.
Yes God is my salvation. Yes He is the everything. Yet He has blessed me by placing people here to help me. While doing my Bible study today something really came to me. I have had this thought before but today it made me feel different. I wrote out, “You saved me BEFORE I was born.” There is zero way to grasp the Alpha, Omega, Almighty Father. Time is different, He is everywhere all the time, He is Omniscient.
He knew I would be a sinner. He knew I would be a Christian. He knew I would walk away from Him. He knew I would be lost and confused. He knew I would be seeking love. He knew I would come back to Him. He knew that in order for Him to be loving He would need to send His son for me. He did this for me before I came to be. He knew I would need this from Him, He knew I would need Him and He did this for me.
He does call us. He does speak to us. He does give us gifts and we are expected to use those gifts. It doesn’t mean we are going to change the world but it does mean we are going to change someone’s world by using them.
I have felt like I am being called to something. It is something I feel a calling to from time to time. The silly part is that I just am not sure what it is. I am pretty certain I know what gift I am supposed to be using but I am not sure the direction I am supposed to take it.
So I pray. So I question. So I read the Bible more. So I talk to Him more. So I build the relationship with Him more. So I still sit and feel like I am being called but I am just missing it. There are times I just feel like He needs to put a neon sign in front of me so I get it. Of course His timing is right and when I need to get it I will. I am just not a person who likes to miss something.
For a longtime I felt as if I was not worthy enough to do His work. I wasn’t good enough to have a gift He could use. Then as you really start to take in the Bible, wow look at those He used! Tax Collectors, murderers, adulterers, manipulators, liars, deniers of Christ, those who persecuted Christians, and now He uses us. There isn’t a single person He used to reach others that isn’t a sinner. He sent Christ to save us sinners, but He uses us to help save others!
Kind of off subject, did you know that there isn’t another religion that is based upon history? Christianity is the only religion that has a historical account. It is the only one that was just created? To be honest I never realized that until recently.
Back to it – God has a plan. He has been calling me. I hear His calling but now I need to fine tune my hearing and He the actual work He is calling me to.
Have you ever felt this way? Tell me about it! I would love to hear.