I love when someone says something that just sticks! Not only does it stick but it makes you think about yourself. It makes you think about your life. It helps you change areas that you are struggling with.
So one of my best friends has been saying, “I want to be Better Not Bitter” when she starts to get upset over certain things. So guess what I have been repeating when things start to go south? You guessed it, “Better Not Bitter”.
You know how fast you can turn into a bitter person? It really takes no time at all. Read something on facebook about a friend who is traveling? How about how perfect their family is? How about the perfect date their spouse planned? How about the new car? It is so easy to read something on social media or even talk with someone and start to turn bitter over what they are telling you.
We should be happy for those people! We should want them to be given joys and gifts. We should not be jealous or bitter over what God has gifted others. We should thank God for what we have. We should want to be better. We should want to be happy.
What do you pray for? I pray a lot for peace. I pray a lot for stability. I pray a lot for joy. I pray for a lot of things really. When I look at what I pray for, how do I know that someone else isn’t praying for the same thing? How do I know that the vacation isn’t a joy they have been praying years for? I do not because I am not them.
I would hope that someone looks at my social media and doesn’t get bitter about what I am putting up. I pray they don’t see someone as bragging or perfect or all together because we are so far from that!
We are the biggest cracked pots there are out there. I just hope that as we walk and talk as these cracked pots we are water flowers that need it along the way.
The next thing I find myself saying on a very regular basis right now is, “Give It To God!” It goes with 1 Peter 5:7, “Give all your worries and cares to God, for He cares about you.”
Life is messy. It has ups and downs. What hurts some people does not hurt others. Our pains can not be measured in the same ways. Our feels have the same names but you can’t know exactly how my happy feels and I can not know how your happy feels.
I belong to an amazing church family. Over two years ago we started to tithe on a regular basis. That hasn’t left room for savings though. I attend Bible study twice a week (sometimes more if there are classes). I go to church and sing my heart out in praise to God (there is nothing like lifting your arms up to God and giving Him the praise He deserves).
At home I am a stay at home mom. I am also a work at home mom. My house keep skills are lacking when I don’t force myself to keep up. I spend time in the morning doing Bible study. I pray and talk throughout the day. I turn christian music on and sing and dance around because it makes me feel good. It makes me feel alive. It makes me feel loved. It shows God He is never far from me.
Still with Him around me so much and with me in Him so much there are days I have to stop and give it to God. Today was one of those days. Here is what I wrote to my
Bible study group tonight when asking for prayers because I currently was struggling to give it to God alone:
I am laying it all down here. I need some wisdom ladies. From Noon to 3 PM today all doors closed for fixing our car. We still owe just about $6k on the car. It isn’t fixable, it needs a whole new engine and that is around $7,200. So for the next 12 months we will be paying our car payment and full coverage insurance for a vehicle we can’t use.
I have given all of this to Christ since it started on November 8th. I haven’t been worried or upset, I have just given it all to Him. Today however I have been very angry and hurt (since say about 3 PM). I do not enjoy feeling this way.
I just really need to be lifted up. I have someone who is struggling with some pride issues over all of this stuff. Being a 1 car family is going to be miserable but doable. On days I have things to do, I will get up at 5 with him and take him to work. On days I have nothing to do he gets to drive to work on his own. The problem with all of this comes when Adam graduates in May and starts his apprenticeship. Then the kiddos will have to get up at 5 to take Daddy into work. Still doable.
I just really need some wisdom. Something to jump out at me saying take this path. Something to point us in the correct direction because everything I have done so far is resulting in closed doors. Maybe I am just missing the obvious.
Please pray for me to hear His words and His path if He is talking to me.
I have been pretty upset tonight. I really wanted to just not go to church this evening for Bible study but I knew I needed time to hear His word and to write to Him. I was struggling to focus on anything. I was not being better, I was being bitter. If I want to have some peace about any of this stuff, I need to be lifting it up instead of focusing on what is wrong!
I used to be a very negative person all the time. I have worked very hard on changing that. I still have my moments, hours, days, and weeks where I focus on the wrong stuff more than focusing on the right stuff. So when I have these slips, I try very hard to focus on the positive. The happy things. The good things. The right things. The truth.
The truth is no matter what I do, no matter what I don’t do: HE LOVES ME!
Do you have times where you see you are going down the wrong path? What do you do to turn yourself around? Do you have anything you say to yourself to help pull you back?
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