My Life Is Not My Own

God knows my heart. God knows my fears. God knows my joys. God knows my sadness.

God knows my biggest fear.

My life is not my own. I have decided to follow Jesus and to have a relationship with the Trinity. That means that my life is not my own. One problem I have is surrendering all to Him (I hope I am not alone on this).

God knows when He is calling each of us home to Him. We do not have control of that. I do not think He orchestrates the circumstances, but He does know when we are coming home.

God knows my biggest fear.

Many around me, who I am either an acquaintance with or friends with have been losing spouses and children. It is so hard for me to see their brokenness. Their hearts are broken. Their sadness is heart wrenching. The suddenness of having to crawl into bed alone or not having the checks to kiss goodnight. How they find the strength to get up each morning to face the world without their loved one.

Yesterday I felt led to get on Facebook. The first post was from the same person. Watching the posts my heart was breaking. When the final post came; a friend was posting it for her and a name came to mind. I text her because they are best friends and I didn’t think she would be online to see what was going on. She called me, she was thankful, and then everything sank into me.

God knows my biggest fear.

I woke up this morning and this was posted:

Josh had the biggest heart for others.
He would wake me up in the night to kneel and pray for you all
He cared so much he would die for you
just like Jesus.

…and his simple prayer that all you would know the Savior.

you can talk to Josh.
You just have to talk to Jesus first.

God knows my biggest fear.

Here this woman has lost her best friend, her spouse, the love of her life and she is posting what his wish was for everyone. She has a heart for God and more importantly even with her breaking heart, she was posting what her husband had wanted for everyone he knew.

She knows she will see her husband again. She knows she will talk to him again. She knows this is not the end of their story together. It is here on earth but this isn’t our real home. Our home is with Jesus.

My biggest fear….

Is having life cut short and losing my husband and my children. It is something I have zero control over. It is something I have never had control over. It is something I struggle with to surrender to God.

Yet around me, so many are dealing with my biggest fear. They grieve, they get angry, they manage to get up each morning and they still believe and surrender their lives to Jesus. They have had no choice but to accept their lives are not their own.

My life is not my own. My loved ones do not belong to me.

Surrender

I need to let go of things I can not control and I need to focus on things I can control….

  • My relationship with Christ
  • My prayers
  • My time
  • My relationship with people

Things I can control. This is not my permanent home, this world is temporary and that means it is temporary for those I love as well.

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*THESE STATEMENTS HAVE NOT BEEN EVALUATED BY THE FOOD AND DRUG ADMINISTRATION. THIS PRODUCT IS NOT INTENDED TO DIAGNOSE, TREAT, CURE, OR PREVENT ANY DISEASE.
*I ONLY RECOMMEND ONE BRAND FOR INGESTING ESSENTIAL OILS. YOUNG LIVING HAS A SEED TO SEAL GUARANTEE AND PROMISE. THEY ARE A PURE THERAPEUTIC GRADE ESSENTIAL OIL. ALWAYS BE SURE TO READ THE LABEL FOR DIRECTIONS ON USAGE FOR EACH INDIVIDUAL ESSENTIAL OIL.
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